Currently Listening A Chorus of Obliteration By The Showdown Laid To Rest <3<3<3<3<3<3 see related

This one doesn't have a title... any suggestions...?

I stare at the clean polished wall
My hand caressing my face
My jaw locked slightly open
And a lump embedded in my throat

I look with my eyes so wide
Holding back the tears that soon will spill
Biting my lip until it bleeds
Trying to choke them down like the most vile of pills

Here I stand
Am I really standing on my own feet again?
Because for awhile I was floating
I had always been afraid I would fall

I touch the cold hard surface
A slight fog forming around my hand
A distinct beat in my chest from the pain
I once felt the same except from love

I look in the silence
My sleeve partially sliding down my arm
Exposing my forearm where I've slit my wrists
Lifetime scars from such temporary complications

I stare into the eyes
Of one so fragile and obsolete
They look years more tired and weary than they should
These eyes haven't sparkled in some time

I glare into the aged face
One that should look fervent and free
But instead shows a smile through the pain
And laughter through the tears

I do not hold back any longer
My eyes like a leaking faucet
With a small whimper I try to keep down
So no one would know that I am now completely vulnerable

A rage builds up
I feel the glass is my enemy
And it builds up inside my fist
As I strike the villain down

I look at my hand
Warm with blood pouring
Crimson streaming down the sides
But no signs of pain or emotion come over me

I feel small shards and warmth
Swarming around my feet
As my bare feet know the pain
The rest of my body aches

I stand with arms folded
Afraid to move
I'm ready at attention
As I feel one of my past tears sliding down my chest

The salty rain rolls down from my cloudy eyes
It is foolish to hide them now
For now everyone sees me
I've never felt more exposed

I tell myself
"You lied to me"
I feel self loathing overwhelm me
I want nothing more than to cut my own throat with what was resting on the floor

I am ready to live
I am ready to die
I am ready to forgive
But I'll never be ready to forget

One last time
I stare into the eyes of the thing
That most people call their reflection
I cannot bring myself to

Last time I looked
So clean and mended perfectly
Now I look at the broken pieces
Of only what resembles me

My hair ratty and un brushed
My eyes bloodshot and puffy
My skin chilled to the bone
My heart going so fast it'd do anything to stop

I see her
Just a face without a name
I do not recognize
Who am I?

Currently Listening Project 86 By Project 86 Pipedream (<3 <3 <3) see related

A Black Heart Tragedy

The loving, compassionate girl has died
She committed suicide
Now all that's left is the outter shell
Of a girl who thought her life was hell

That was of course until she met a boy
Who seemed to bring her so much joy
It was in him that she could abide
Yet she always feared he would leave her side

Then one day that fate came through
And she didn't know what to do
In her mind she wished it was all a lie
And then she decided she wanted to die

He was her strength so she could go on
He was her reason to stay awake till dawn
He was her passion for which she would live
He was her love in which she could give

Then that night when the clock struck eleven
We could only pray that she went straight to heaven
This story today so tragic yet true
Was made possible this day because of you

Currently Listening Project 86 By Project 86 When Darkness Reigns ((fits my mood)) see related

Hey I'm back!

Sorry that I haven't posted about lifest... bear with me please! Photobucket is being stupid and won't let me enter my album.  My day (monday) was completely sucky!! GRR!!  Yeah... whatever... I'm in a bad mood so yeah... let's just say that after a most totally awesome weekend today was a HUGE letdown

Currently Listening About a Burning Fire By Blindside All of Us (again hahaha) see related

Well everyone... the time has come once again... the Wednesday before the weekend after 4th of July... yes!!!! The one weekend I wait for all year! Today is the last day I have to waste around at home before LIFEST!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!  We are currently busy making preparations for the upcomming 4 days!! A few people who we know that are camping there are already out on the grounds.  Today I was at church volunteering for VBS decorating (which I can't get school credit for... blah!) J-Lu and I were down in the basement of our church and we found this record book that had entries from as early as 1923!!!  It was cool! We got done with that around like 4 or something and then we came home and I've been doing some last minute laundry!!! hehehe! I must make sure that all of my shirts are clean!!!  I don't know what I'm wearing on Thursday but on Friday I'm wearing my Skillet shirt (the cool one that John made HIMSELF) On Saturday I'm wearing my Project 86 shirt and on Sunday I'm wearing my new Underground shirt with the cool gold griffin on it hehehe!  I'M SOOO FLIPPIN EXCITED YOU HAVE NOOOOOO IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!  By the way, I'm feeling a lot better today than I was yesterday... sorry for the mini-vent in yesterday's post.  Yes! And what will the bands sign?! I got this AWESOME pair of pink chucks that I'm gonna have Skillet and Pillar sign because they're my 2 fav bands... But I won't get Korey's signature because she's pregnant!!!  Then for Project I don't know... I was thinking maybe my cheesebox somewhere... that would be interesting to see what they thought of me painting their cd cover on my cheesebox minus the knife... hmmmmm yeah... I'M SOOO FLIPPIN EXCITED!!! EEEEEE!!! lol! I should talk to Robert one of these days cuz I need someone to come infront of the mosh with me at Project... brittany says she'll go but she doesn't really like them so yeah, I'd be having fun all by myself... Well guys, I got to go finish packing so I'll talk to you later!! God bless you all and I'll have a loooong entry on either Sunday or Monday about EVERYTHING!!! Talk to you guys later and I'll miss you all!!!